Here's part of my problem.

$ayzak · Post by **$ayzak** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 1:30 pm

My dad is a paranoid schizophrenic. He's also got "stiff man syndrom" which means he feels pain at a higher level than most people. On top of that, he was poisoned by methane gas 15 years ago (no one else in the world would have survived what he went through). Because of his health problems, he's just getting more health problems including a leaking valve on his heart.

Because of all the accidents he's been in, he got addicted to pain killers more than 20 years ago as well as valume. He's built up such a tollerance that he survived taking a full bottle of valume and deladid (morphine) at once. He didn't even pass out. An addict of this magnitute is an addict for life. Especially one with "stiff man syndrome".

Because he's schizophrenic he thinks there are bugs crawling all over him, burrowing into his skin like parasites. So rather than go to the doctor to take care of his real health issues (such as the leaking heart valve, failing pancreas, etc) he complains about the "bugs" and the "pain". So when he goes to the doctor they immediately see a crazy drug addict. He's not acrazy drug addict, he's my father.

The doctor he had for 20 years is now retired and passed him off to another doctor. This doctor however dropped him because she was afraid of all the law suits he could potentially bring her. She'd never seen a script like his. This means in order to survive he has to go to Emergency every day.

His old doctor gave him advice. He said to go to a psych ward and admit himself. That way he'd have the help he needs for three days, and doctors would no longer be afraid to write him a script.

That sounded great, and everyone was optomistic about it. But the mother fuckers turned him away and said "this is not a hotel."

He's only got enough pain killers for the next 12 hours.

He's got two options left.

1. Go to the chrisis center and beg for help.

2. Allow his family (me) to admit him as a "crazy" person. (which is impossible, he'll kill himself before he lets me see him so beaten).

By tomorrow I will know if I still have a father.

CULTI-VADER · Post by **CULTI-VADER** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 2:04 pm

wow man. sorry to hear about your dad's problems. be strong for him and help him as much as you can no matter how hard it is. stand by him and be strong for yourself too!! good luck bro!

DaNixHexIsOn311 · Post by **DaNixHexIsOn311** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 2:59 pm

Sorry to hear about this man...good luck and stay strong and i am sure things will work out

Hostile_Apostle311 · Post by **Hostile_Apostle311** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 3:13 pm

I was just about to say " matt you should turn emo" until i read about your dad's problems. i am very very sorry to hear that. im sure things will turn out fine in the long run. just stay strong through this tough time.

littlestghoust · Post by **littlestghoust** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 3:18 pm

wow that totally sucks...i hope everything turns alright for you...

$ayzak · Post by **$ayzak** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 6:40 pm

My dad's back from the chrisis center. I'm not sure what he told them but they told him to go home. They won't help him.

He's already hunched over and walking slowly. He's so upset he's shaking. I don't know what to do.

If I betray him and admit him into the hospital he'll kill himself.

If I do nothing he dies. If I do something he dies.

God damn what a burdon...

I can't handle this.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 8:01 pm

I'm really sorry to hear about this. One thing I've learned through my life is you can't let things eat you alive, though trust me, they've taken some bites off me. Don't get swallowed! Just look around at all the people who love you. The people who will support you while you're going though this are your family. That's what I've learned. Hope it helps.

Best of luck.

$ayzak · Post by **$ayzak** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 8:36 pm

Thanks for the support everyone...

If I dissapear for awhile don't be alarmed. No matter what happens the earth won't swallow me.

311Chik · Post by **311Chik** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 8:52 pm

If you were to admit him yourself how would he kill himself? I always thought that being in a psych ward they take the precautions not to let that happen...unless he would do that after? Honestly if either way the same outcome will happen, might as well try to get him help, that way if he does get help maybe things could possibly turn around for him.

Good luck, and positive vibes to ya

$ayzak · Post by **$ayzak** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 10:03 pm

If you knew my dad...

nixhex · Post by **nixhex** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 11:43 pm

i am pretty sure the best bet would be to get into intensive psychiatric care. you can't allow this to burden you, and if he was in the right state of mind, he wouldn't want to be a burden on you either. thats probably the way to go dude...at a psychiatric hospital they have all the medications and psychotropic mind altering drugs he needs to help him get a hold on his mind. thats the best advice i have. good luck bro.

$ayzak · Post by **$ayzak** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 11:51 pm

Thanks.

My dad is a chracter.

It turns out there was a miscommunication with his old doctor who told him to go to the chrisis center. He was supposed to get a refferal from the emergency room first, but upon relaying the message my mom left that part out.

My dad may go in tonight, or tomorrow morning. But he should get help. If that doesn't work out, I have another 24 hours to choose how to deal with it.

I'm not going to update this anymore until I know for sure. I'm completely drained.

Again, thanks for the positive thoughts...

Jordan311 · Post by **Jordan311** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 1:56 am

Hey, well that seems like good news! I hope it works out ok...

If there's a shodow in your life, then there's sunshine

Best wishes.

Later

Broken Side · Post by **Broken Side** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 5:27 am

life is fucked up

$ayzak · Post by **$ayzak** » Thu Aug 04, 2005 11:44 pm

Alright. I picked my dad up from the hospital today. It looks like all this rocky business has him finally considering options he'd never considered before. Like detox. But rather than get locked up for two weeks he wants to do it himself. I know he won't be able to quit entirely, but the fact that he's considering at the very least coming off of them a bit, is an unusually good sign.

So you guys know how rediculous his script is:

He takes 16 full tabelts of morphine a day. He has swallowed 240 all at once, as well as 100+ tablets of valume, and while laying on his couch to die, occasionally getting up to pee, he thought to himself "I can't even kill myself with this stuff?!"

16 tablets of morphine would kill most full grown men.

Anyway, he still has to go to the hospital every day to get the stuff. And if he gets tired of that, and he can't come off them by himself, he'll probably go to detox.

So it's going to be a few days before he makes up his mind. He may still load up his 12 gage. He's had that thing to his chin many times.

$lmjimy311 · Post by **$lmjimy311** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 10:27 am

dude...good luck with all of this..all will turn out good in the long run and you know it will